


Wooyoung/Yeosang; As I Wake - Chapter 1

by greymochii



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: ATEEZ - Freeform, Angst, Comes back from the undead, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gods are Watching, Heavy Swearing, M/M, Please continue reading, Swearing, Wooyoung so shady, Yeosang King of Swearing, Yeosang is not a zombie, revival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23621650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greymochii/pseuds/greymochii
Summary: Yeosang woke up with no recollection of himself, but one thing he was certain; he was dead. And now that he's alive again, he has 45 days to redeem himself for one past mistake.Yeosang had lived a roughed up life, and not until he met Wooyoung who was frightened at first but eventually opened up to him and took him in.Question is, will the feelings be mutual?
Relationships: Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang
Comments: 11
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What was meant to be a oneshot has now become a series and I hope you'll give this series as a chance. I tend to digress so this may in turn, be a 3-part series.

Yeosang woke up feeling nauseous and in extreme pain; his limp body was aching all over and he felt an excruciating pain in his chest. Slowly reaching up to touch the wound, he grimaced in agony and let out a disgruntled sigh. He couldn’t tell where he was as it was dark and all he knew was that the place was freezing cold. Just as he was about to sit up, he hit his head against something metallic and cursed loudly while clutching his injured head.

“Fucking hell!” Yeosang hissed as he rubbed his forehead with his hand. He felt coldness emitting from his hand and hastily touched his entire body, only to realise he was naked. Terrified, he began pounding at all four corners with his clenched fists, but no corner was opening up and anxiety was brewing up inside of him. The space was confined and cold, and the darkness eating at him as he tried to fight his way out. He tried kicking instead but realised that his leg muscles had lost power and was partially paralysed. By then, Yeosang was already tearing up and sobbing as he laid helplessly on the table. 

Time went by and Yeosang had no idea how long it has been since his futile attempt to escape the tiny "room". In those lost times, Yeosang had effortlessly tried to activate his muscle movements again. When he felt as though he could feel his toes moving again, Yeosang focused on his muscles and he could feel his whole foot wiggling. Quietly rejoicing, Yeosang inched himself forward so that he was closer to the entrance. Once gaining courage and momentum, Yeosang pulled his legs back and with every energy and might in his body, he thrusted his legs at the door, not once, not twice, but thrice, before he felt himself sliding out through the door. Finally liberated from the confined space, Yeosang sat up, the thin cloth dropping down to his pelvis. He groaned when the dimly lit room's light shone into his eyes. Blinking several times, his eyes began flitting around the room nervously, his breathing hard and inconsistent.

"Am I... in a morgue? What the hell?" Yeosang felt his mouth was so parched, he tried swallowing hard. Eyes anxiously flitting around the spacious room, Yeosang realised that he was indeed in a morgue. He turned around and there were cabinets and he figured that that was where all the dead bodies are laid for the autopsy.

The headache that he had gained was pounding merciless in his head and he just wanted to get out of there. The throbbing pain in his chest was bothering him and tried to cast his gaze downwards to take a look at it. The wound was higher than his eyes could see, Yeosang glanced around for a mirror or an alternative. When his eyes finally landed on a converge mirror hanging by the wall, Yeosang hastily climbed out of the table only to drop to the floor. While he may have gained muscle power, he still hadn't found his footing just yet. With intense effort, Yeosang pulled himself up and endless spews of profanities escaped his lips.

"These fucking legs are useless," Yeosang grumbled as he trudged towards the wall painfully. After what seemed like forever, Yeosang finally reached the wall, sweat glistening down his neck and chest accompanied by heavy pants. Pulling the mirror off the wall, Yeosang staggered for a safe landing and leaned against the metal cabinet's door and slowly slid downwards, his buttocks feeling the icy cold flooring. "Damn, that's cold."

Placing the mirror right at his chest level, Yeosang eyed the wound and once he realised what he was, he felt a lump get caught in the back of his throat. He wasn't sure how he got it, how it happened or who did it. But he was certain of one thing. 

"I was dead."

Yeosang hastily and sneakily glided across the hallway as he avoided the clinical staff on duty. He had also stolen a pair of jumper and sweatpants from the doctor's changing room, shocked to see the sight of himself. He had to hold back tears when he saw how ghastly and gaunt he looked after coming back from death. He had no idea how long he'd been dead, as his skin looked ghostly pale, but since he was placed in the mortuary, he was preserved and autopsy was yet to be done on him. At that very moment, he was glad that he wasn't cut open just yet, but still hoped that someone could have pulled the bullet out of his chest. The bullet hurts him so much as he moved, but he didn't have time to wait around and scare a doctor or a nurse and threaten them to pull it out. He has had enough of the hospital and just wanted to go home.

_ Home. I don't even know where I live. _

As he evaded all the clinical staff and security, Yeosang caught sight of the security camera and cursed under his breath, yet again. Catching sight of the exit, Yeosang ducked under the reception and crawled out to the front door, sprinting the moment he was in the open. He stopped in the parking lot and anxiously looked around, hoping to find a car to hijack. Three cars away, he saw a man unlocking his car and getting in and as Yeosang was about to make a run towards his car, security guards came hustling out of the hospital looking for him. 

"Fuck," Yeosang muttered as he ducked under their eagle view and risked his self-preservation by halting the car in its tracks, an inch away from his face. The man cursed out loud and leaned forward to see if Yeosang was still alive. When he saw him crouching by the bonnet, he felt a wave of relief overwhelmed him. Just as he was about to open the door, Yeosang went to the passenger seat, opened the door and climbed in, still hanging his head low. "Drive. Now."

Astounded and petrified, the man hesitated and was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw the guards closing in. The hesitation caused Yeosang to rage even more.

"Are you fucking deaf?! I said drive!" The man pressed on his accelerator causing the car to roll forward and the screeching of the tyres blared through the windows. "Easy on the accelerator! Jesus!"

"S-sorry." He was nervous and Yeosang noted how he was holding his breath in as he drove out of the parking lot and onto the main street. He would cast occasional glances to the back to make sure he wasn't being pursued. Turning back to Yeosang who had sunk back in his seat, he tapped his shoulder. "Y-you're ok now. You can sit upright."

Yeosang was startled by the touch and glared at the already frightened man. He relaxed himself and inclined his chair as he casted his gaze out the window, admiring the crowd and noise that's occupying the open land. Even though he had been dead for a couple of days, Yeosang still gawked at the beauty of the city and wondered what he did when he was alive.

"W-where's your house?"

Yeosang turned his head to the man, his eyes wide with panic. "What?"

"Where do you live? Do you have an address?" He stared at him blankly and looked away, as if he was trying to remember. The man frowned and casted several glances in his direction once in a while, waiting on a response. "Do you have a name?"

Yeosang turned back to him and wistfully shook his head. The man was taken aback by his response and Yeosang noticed how he was hesitant with the decision he was about to make as his brows were knitted together and he heaved a quiet sigh. 

"You don't know where you live, you don't remember your own name... is there anything that you remember?"

Yeosang shook his head again and looked at him sullenly. He wished he could remember, but having woken up from the dead had given him retrograde amnesia. Yeosang sighed begrudgingly and ran his hand through his oily hair. The man looked at him sympathetically and reluctantly offered a solution.

"Hey, I'll just bring you to the police station a-"

"NO! No police, please."

The man jumped in his seat at Yeosang's bellowed protest and cursed under his breath. "Fuck, man. You didn't have to yell at me like that."

"Don't bring me to the police station. Please, just... fuck. Don't, ok?"

"Alright, alright. What's gotten into you man?" The man merely shook his head and focused his attention on the road instead. 

"Can we get food? I'm hungry," Yeosang said softly as they passed by a McDonald's. He could feel knots tying in his stomach, the feeling giving him much discomfort. The man ignored him and continued driving, intensifying Yeosang's already irate mood. "Dude, what the fuck? KFC was just back there. Did you deliberately just ignored me?!"

"You turn the car around right now, and you're getting me food! Or, I swear to God..."

The man scoffed and rolled his eyes at Yeosang, a smirk plastered on his face. "Or what? What are you going to do? Kill me and steal my car? I want to see you try that."

"Fucking prick."

"I believe it's morally impolite to curse at your host, especially when one is giving you a ride. You're lucky I haven't thrown you out yet. I was close to unbuckling your belt and opening your door, and have you roll out, but I have good patience. Don't test my limits." Yeosang kept silent and stared out the window, his mouth in a pout. "Wooyoung."

"Huh?"

"Wooyoung. My name's Wooyoung."

Yeosang raised a brow at him and smirked. "I never asked."

"Alright, that's it." Wooyoung reached over to unbuckle Yeosang's seatbelt when he grabbed hold of his hand, panic smeared across his face.

"Ok, ok! I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Yeosang hastily apologised and watched as Wooyoung's expression softened and resumed his attention on the road. "Sheesh man. Why do you have to be so uptight?"

"Why do you have to be so rude?" 

Yeosang was silent once again. He had gone on to open his mouth to speak but closed them, for a course of three times. Figuring that it was best not to argue back, Yeosang kept silent and throughout the whole ride to Wooyoung's apartment, there were no verbal exchanges. As Yeosang sat still, the wound was hurting him again and he had to hold himself from crying out in discomfort.

Awe was not enough for Yeosang to describe his feelings and thoughts about Wooyoung's apartment. It wasn't extremely grand, but it was fully furnished with high quality furniture and well-decorated with pictures and paintings. As he stood in the hallway, he was greeted by Wooyoung's maltese puppy, Bora, and bent over to pet her. Bora willingly allowed the men to pet her head and give her belly rubs and Wooyoung watched as the adorable interaction occurred. Wooyoung had gone into his room and came back with a towel and fresh pair of clothes for Yeosang, who reluctantly took it. He bowed slightly in gratitude and continued flitting his gaze around the house. Just as his eyes fell on a pair of scissors, Yeosang’s eyes lit up and he turned to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung waited expectantly for Yeosang to say his piece, and as he was taking too long, he nearly turned away when Yeosang blurted out. “Scissors! Do you… have scissors? Those small ones?” Wooyoung frowned at him and noticed that his hand was clutching onto his chest. 

Slowly inching towards him, Wooyoung stopped when he was half a foot away from him, fear streaked across his face. Yeosang anxiously swallowed hard and was preparing for the worst that could happen. As Wooyoung calmly reached over to grab his hand, Yeosang tried dodging him but he was fast. Albeit being an inch shorter than the latter, Wooyoung had a strong grip; Yeosang was hurting as he tried to resist but Wooyoung was firm and hastily pushed him backwards into a nearby chair and sternly told him to calm down.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” 

Yeosang was still panicking but he relaxed when he realised that Wooyoung didn’t mean him any harm. Ceasing his resistance, Yeosang reluctantly granted him permission to see the wound, several possible worst case scenarios crossing his mind. 

Wooyoung gently pulled the jumper down and found himself gaping at the wound. A gunshot wound. A wound that’s directly placed where the heart was… which meant he should have been dead.

“That gunshot wound… you’re supposed to be-”

“Dead? Shooter missed by a bit, and I was lucky to still have survived it.” Yeosang instantly made up a white lie, a lie that he hoped Wooyoung would believe for the whole time that he’s alive again. “I… It’s hurting me.”

Wooyoung turned Yeosang around and pulled the jumper back and saw that the bullet had penetrated, which meant that there was no bullet to extract. He wasn’t an expert with guns, but he was guessing that whoever shot him, was using a handgun. Sighing in relief, Wooyoung gave Yeosang a disapproving look, but yet, had a sympathetic note to it. Wooyoung disappeared into the kitchen and a frightened Yeosang sat trembling in his chair, uncertain of his fate then. The latter man emerged with a huge first aid kit and as he placed it beside Yeosang, he grabbed another chair and sat in front of him.

“Strip.”

Yeosang’s eyes widened with shock and his mouth went agape at Wooyoung’s request. “W-what?”

“I said strip. Take the jumper off.” Wooyoung shook his head in disbelief as he had his hands on the hem of his jumper.

“A-ah. Ok.”

Wooyoung assisted Yeosang in taking the jumper off as he noticed the latter flinched painfully at the movements. He couldn’t lift his left hand up, so Wooyoung had to gently pull his arm from under the sleeve and strip the jumper off from his head. Yeosang couldn’t help but notice how gentle he was. His touch was soft but also firm, and he could feel his insides burning up.

Wooyoung took out a gauze and a rubbing alcohol and stopped at the wound. “This is going to hurt, so I suggest you shove this in your mouth to prevent you from biting your own tongue.” He handed him a piece of clean cloth and Yeosang hesitantly shoved it into his mouth, his eyes filled with worries.

As the gauze made contact with his open wound, Yeosang clenched his eyes shut and instinctively grabbed hold of Wooyoung’s shoulders, gripping it very tightly. The excruciating pain sent a shock through his body and also caused him to groan miserably. Wooyoung could see tears welling up in his eyes and he realised that he had low pain tolerance. After wiping the wound clean, Wooyoung stitched him up as Yeosang sat back in the chair, his head hanging back against the headrest. He was panting profusely and as tears stained his cheeks, Wooyoung was done with the stitching. 

“I need you to be strong one last time, alright? This is the last one, I promise.” Yeosang was silent and because pain had overwhelmed him, he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted everything to be over and done with. He didn’t realise that Wooyoung had cleaned the wound up and stitched him up when he was turned back to face him. “You’re all stitched up. But uh, I’d suggest you do a bath instead of a shower so that you don’t get the wounds wet.”

Yeosang was silent but he gave a brief nod and weakly pulled the cloth out of his mouth, his breathing finally steady and consistent again. With no energy in him left due to his excessive effort to resist pain, Yeosang meekly whispered, “Th-thank you.”

Wooyoung froze and looked at the limp man, his pale face stricken with sweat and tears, his nose red from the silent sobbing. He gave Yeosang a small smile and bowed slightly before disappearing into the kitchen again, the pots and pans rattling as he began cooking. Yeosang giddily stood up, his mind hazy and his vision blurry from the medical assistance that he had gotten earlier on. Slowly trudging towards the bathroom, Yeosang turned the lights on and as much as he wanted to gawk at the beauty and cleanliness of the bathroom, he wanted to have a quick wash and head to bed. The throbbing headache came back and Yeosang scowled in frustration, annoyed that he was in this big mess.

While he wanted to take a dip under the shower, Yeosang begrudgingly obeyed Wooyoung’s suggestion and slowly sat himself down in the bathtub. Carefully, he washed every inch of himself, avoiding the wounds and gently scooped up water to wash his hair. By the time he was done and dressed, Wooyoung had set the dining table and prepared the food. Yeosang stared in awe at the dishes that he had cooked and was envious at his cooking skill. He wished he could cook as well as he did to save himself, instead of eating instant noodles nearly everyday. 

_ Instant noodles? Am I slowly remembering some things? _

“Take a seat. You must be famished by now.” Wooyoung’s voice snapped Yeosang out of his trance and sheepishly nodded his head as he took a seat opposite him. 

He only knew the man for a few hours, but he felt at home and at ease, and for some strange reasons, it still gave him an unsettling feeling. Maybe because it was too comfortable and he wasn’t sure if Wooyoung was plotting something against him behind his back. Yeosang glanced around and his eyes stopped at a wall clock.

6.30PM. That’s his dinner time.

He averted his eyes to the large windows and saw the hazy clouds that looked as though they’re descending upon them. The sky hues were a blend of pink and blue, giving it a very aesthetically pleasing landscape view. When he turned back to the table, Wooyoung was gazing at him quizzically and Yeosang immediately ducked into his food.

“I was beginning to think you don’t like my cooking.”

Yeosang shook his head and continued eating, avoiding eye contact with him as much as he could. Wooyoung stared at him sympathetically as he watched the man devour his food speedily, he was worried that he would choke on his own food.

“Easy there! You might want to slow down. You’re gonna choke if you continue shoving food down your throat like that.”

“I can’t help it. I’m just so fucking hungry.” Yeosang said through a full mouth, earning a chuckle from Wooyoung. As Wooyoung watched intently, he found himself admiring Yeosang’s sculptured face and was astonished at how beautiful he looked. He was already pale to begin with, but the way his button nose and chiselled jawline complemented his chestnut brown eyes, poked at his beating heart. Wooyoung shook his head at his sudden behaviour and cleared his throat as he cleared his and Yeosang’s plates. Yeosang stopped him and looked at him with wides and mouth full and said, “I’m not done.”

Wooyoung lifted his hand up in surrender and allowed the man to finish his meal. When he was done, he scurried into the kitchen and dropped the plate into the sink and gave a brief gratitude before hurrying out of the kitchen. Wooyoung watched him move swiftly and wondered why he was acting so hastily. When he was done washing, he heard cooing and realised that Yeosang came to play with Bora. He observed as the man bonded with his pup and felt a tug on his heart string as he saw Yeosang’s pretty smile for the first time.

Shuffling towards the duo, Wooyoung took a seat and played with Bora, a concerned look sprawled across his face. “What’s your plan?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your plan?”

Yeosang was perplexed by the question but finally understood what he meant when he saw how worried he looked. “Ah. I don’t know… I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Yeosang sighed quietly and bit on his lower lip, uncertain of what is going to happen next. 

Wooyoung had so much hesitancy, but seeing how Yeosang wasn’t much of a threat to him, he succumbed to the pressure. He may be rude, but Yeosang didn’t look the type to kill someone. 

“You can stay.”

“What?” Yeosang’s head shot up, his ears perking up at Wooyoung’s remark. “I’m sorry… did you say I can stay?”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and made a face at him as he repeated himself. “Yes, you can stay. For the time being. We’ll help you with your memory and whatnot but until then, you can stay here.”

“That’s very… noble of you. Thank you.”

Wooyoung groaned as he stood up, stretching and massaging his back from the long hours he had at work. “Don’t thank me yet. Who knows I might throw you out earlier than expected. Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

Yeosang quickly got up and timidly followed him, his eyes still flitting around in amazement. When they stopped in front of a room, Wooyoung opened the door and turned the lights on, revealing an exceedingly big and spacious room. Yeosang’s mouth went wide with surprise and slowly found himself touring the room. It was well-furnished with a king-sized bed, a study table, a considerably broad walk-in wardrobe accompanied by a ceiling-to-floor window. The walls were painted baby blue and it was lightly decorated with small paintings. The room looked neat and tidy and he wondered if Wooyoung had someone to come and clean his house for him.

“This used to be my best friend’s room but he moved to America and so this has become a vacant room. I clean it but it hasn’t been used at all since then. You can sleep in here and I think…” Wooyoung walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of buttoned-up tops and jeans and put it against Yeosang. “Yeah. You’ll fit these perfectly. You guys are about the same height, so it’s not a problem.”

Yeosang took the clothes from him and stared at him intently. It wasn’t endearing, but it wasn’t menacing either. It was in a way, grateful but there was also a tinge of guilt in his eyes. Wooyoung noticed the look and gently squeezed his shoulder.

“Don’t be sorry. We’ll figure this out together. Have a good night’s sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Yeosang nodded and observed as he called onto Bora, who willingly followed him out and closed the door behind him. Placing the clothes on the bed, Yeosang plopped himself down and fell back onto the bed, his eyes concentrated on the ceiling. His mind was racing with thoughts and he was desperate for answers. But the biggest questions he had was the reason for his revival and who did it. Sighing in frustration, Yeosang rubbed his face with hands and closed his eyes.

“I’m a fucking mess.”

  
  



	2. Wooyoung/Yeosang; As I Wake - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recurring dreams, God of Live and Resuscitation... A bit much for Yeosang to handle. Things are beginning to get too overwhelming for Yeosang and he's getting real fed up. 
> 
> Will it all prevail or will it be to no avail?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that there has been a long wait. I tried to write as much as I could within the time frame. Ramadan has been challenging for me and I was always occupied with other things so my time to write was always interrupted.
> 
> It's not the best chapter but it's slowly introducing Seonghwa as well as talking about Yeosang's past. I think this whole series is going to pan out to 4 chapters instead of 3, so I'm planning the third chapter carefully.

“Yeosang-ah!”

As Yeosang made a run to nowhere, a voice kept calling out to him. Yeosang turned and all he could see were trees and then a man with a rifle was standing ten feet away from him.

“You hurt my daughter,” the man said through his gritted teeth. Yeosang shook his head and instead of running for his life, he risked it by trying to explain himself. Taking several steps towards him, Yeosang nervously explained, but before he could finish his sentence, the man pulled the trigger.

Yeosang jolted wide awake from the nightmare… for the third night. Pillowcase and bed sheet stained with sweat, Yeosang sat up abruptly and began catching his breath. He didn’t realise that coming back to life meant having haunting nightmares too. Each night, he had recurring dreams of the man with the rifle pointing it at him. But that night, he dreamt of another person. A friend. Someone whom he was acquainted with. But that wasn’t the part that bothered him. The part that had bugged him the most was his name. As if finally regaining memories, Yeosang gave a light but nervous laughter.

Gently massaging his nose bridge in between his eyes, Yeosang slowly reclined back into the pillow and felt the corners of lips curling up. “My name’s Yeosang.”

Yeosang was awakened by loud music that was blaring through his door. With his groggy eyes and dishevelled hair, Yeosang slid out of bed and grumpily opened the door to have the music volume intensify and hurt his ear drums. 

“What the fuck?!” 

Covering his ears, Yeosang trailed towards the kitchen and found Wooyoung cooking up pancakes. He was dancing as he was cooking and Yeosang couldn’t help himself but to admire the young man’s stature. He wasn’t physically muscular but still had an amazing build; not that much taller than him, but his arms were strong and his shoulders were broad. His slender waist accentuated his figure and the one thing that captured his eyes was his ass. It was firm and round and he didn’t think he’d find myself admiring another man’s buttocks. When Wooyoung swivelled around to the music, he nearly dropped the pancakes when he saw a freshly-awoken Yeosang standing by the kitchen entrance. 

Steadying himself and cursing under his breath, Wooyoung laughed sheepishly at him. “Shit. Oh, hey! You’re awake!”

“WHAT?!” The music was awfully loud, they could barely hear each other out. Wooyoung noted the loud music and scurried over to the laptop and turned the volume down. Turning back to Yeosang, his brows creased into a frown.

“You look like crap.”

Yeosang cocked a brow at him and rolled his eyes, feeling as though he didn’t know it any better himself. “Yeah, you don’t say.” 

Noting towards Wooyoung’s playlist, Yeosang said, “Didn’t think you’d listen to Lewis Capaldi.”

“Didn’t sleep well again? And what kind of music did you think I’d listen to?”

Yeosang merely shrugged his shoulders and stood by the dining table, a bored look on his face. He saw Bora coming out from the kitchen and he immediately bent over to pet her.

“She really likes you.”

“What?” Yeosang lifted his gaze and it met Wooyoung’s soft, monolid eyes and there was an intense warmth that coursed through his veins. 

“Bora isn’t exceptionally people-oriented. She gets shy and scared easily. Her previous owners were complete asses and abused the shit out of this poor baby, so she’s still wary of people. But she seems to take a liking for you.”

Yeosang gazed back down at the pooch who was panting at him with her tail wagging furiously. He couldn’t even remember if he ever had pets but knowing the fact that a dog has found herself attached to him, comforted him. Gently picking Bora up, Yeosang started coddling her and cooing at her, much to Wooyoung’s surprise. 

“You like me? You really do? Am I special to you, Bora? Aren’t you the sweetest?” Wooyoung watched as Yeosang baby-talked his dog and cradled her like a baby. Bora didn’t seem to mind as she begged him to pet her more.

When the affection got too cringe, Wooyoung rolled his eyes and began laying down the breakfast that he had made.

Breakfast was better that day as the two men engaged in more small talks, even if it were repetitive. Yeosang had volunteered to clear the table, but Wooyoung insisted that he clean it. Yeosang observed Wooyoung as he glided in and out of the kitchen in two swift movements before disappearing into the kitchen entirely. Sighing deeply, Yeosang glanced around the tranquil space and took a walk around, admiring the antiques and paintings on display. He stopped by a photograph of Wooyoung piggybacking someone and Yeosang couldn’t help but to feel envious. This other man… he was as built as Wooyoung but much more muscular and the sun shone brightly onto his face, further accentuating his deep dimples.

“That’s San.”

“Jesus Christ!” Yeosang jumped at the sound of Wooyoung’s voice and clutched onto his chest tightly. “I know we’re not really on good terms, but please don’t give me a heart attack.”

Wooyoung gave him a look and shuffled to his side, a smile never leaving his face. “He’s the best friend I was talking to you about. San Choi. A real good friend who broke my heart by moving to the states and leaving me to rot in this shithole of a country.”

“You guys don’t keep in touch?”

“Oh, we do. It’s just that… it’s different when he is here and now that he’s away for good, it gets lonely sometimes. I have Bora, but nothing can compare to a good company like your best friend’s.”

“Hm.”

Yeosang wasn’t sure why he was feeling what he was feeling but he forced himself to be indifferent and not acknowledge too much of their relationship. 

“Anyway,” Wooyoung slapped onto Yeosang’s shoulder and once again, startling the latter, “I’m getting ready for work, I don’t know what you wanna do, you can stay in for all I care, but if you’re gonna be out, I’m not home till about 7:30.”

“The fuck do you do that clocks in twelve hours for a shift?” Yeosang asked as he glanced at the wall clock hanging by the kitchen entrance, his brows creasing as he turned back to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung didn’t give a reply but just gave him a light squeeze and a small smile before walking away. Eventually, he stopped and turned to Yeosang, a soft expression on his face. 

“I’m a dance choreographer.” As Wooyoung casted another smile, he disappeared into the hallway and Yeosang was left to wonder, what in the hell was a choreographer doing at the hospital.

By the time Wooyoung was about to leave, Yeosang was already seated on the lounge couch with Bora sleeping by his side. He was flicking through the tv channel and when he saw Wooyoung clad in his sweatpants and mussel tank, Yeosang nearly dropped the remote and swallowed hard.

“She’s sleeping beside you now? That’s new.” Wooyoung smirked and rummaged through his bag for his keys.

“What? She thinks I’m worthy of her love,” Yeosang said as he petted Bora. 

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and shook his head, but not before feeling a smile creep up onto his face. “Whatever. If you’re hungry before I get home, just order pizza. I’ve left some money on the table for you.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

“Also.” Wooyoung stopped himself and stared at Yeosang with concern. “Try not to break anything in the house. If you wanna cook, you can, but be careful. I’ve got a smoke alarm, so be mindful too.”

Yeosang was about to rebut but he bit back on his tongue as he didn’t want to get kicked out of the house knowing very well he didn’t have anywhere else to go to. He had heard that for the third time and wasn’t fond of being reminded time and again. Flashing a pursed smile, Yeosang nodded and focused his eyes on the tv again. When Yeosang heard the front door click, he leaned his head back and groaned exaggeratingly loudly and glanced down at Bora who was staring at him with her adorable puppy eyes.

It’s gonna be another boring day, Bora.”

Lunch time came and Yeosang shuffled to the kitchen, sluggishly opening the fridge door and was amazed at the contents sitting in it. 

“Wow. This dude’s well-stocked.”

He picked out several ingredients but paused and thought for a minute before putting them in. He wanted to try and cook something but laziness overwhelmed him and went over to the dining table to find a $100 bill pressed under a bowl of pebbles.

Smirking, Yeosang took the $100 bill note and shoved it into his pants pocket and walked over to the hallway side table to grab the telephone.

“Fuck, I don’t even know the pizza place’s number? Seriously?” Frantically searching for a phonebook, Yeosang froze when he saw a piece of paper that was magnetized on the fridge and smirked. “This dip shit does know how to be a great convenience.”

He was told that the pizza would be delivered within an hour as they had backorders due to a large order ahead of his order. Giving an exasperated sigh, Yeosang understood and still made the order as he was famished. Bora barked, startling Yeosang and he cursed under his breath.

“Fuck sake.” He turned with a stern look but after seeing Bora’s puppy face, his expression softened and he sighed again, a small smile crept up onto his face. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Bora.”

Bora barked again, and as Yeosang went to pick her up, she wagged her tail excitedly, much to Yeosang’s delight. Yeosang decided that he’d take a tour around the apartment, starting with the living room. The way small giggle escaped his lips when he came across a couple of cute but quirky photos astounded him, but that didn’t stop him from continuing on with his tour. When he came across the photo of Wooyoung and San again, he could feel annoyance and another feeling he didn’t expect to feel; jealousy.

Turning away sulkily, Yeosang glanced down at Bora and pouted at her. “What’s so great about that guy, what’s-his-name anyway?”

Bora barked again and Yeosang pretended to understand what she was saying as he nodded his head and agreed with her. They walked away still in their “interactive mode” and Yeosang decided to venture into his spare room next. Hesitation crossed his mind as Wooyoung didn’t mention anything about not going into the room. Seeing as how he was only going to take a look around, Yeosang turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open, the musky smell filling his nostrils. 

“Whoo! That smell,” Yeosang fanned his hand in front of his face as he slowly inched himself into the room. It was dark, but a beam of light was casted from the exposed area of the curtain. He could see dust flying around and holding his breath in, Yeosang pulled on the curtain and hissed at the bright sunlight shone on him. Bora wiggled out of his hands and sped out of the room, leaving a puzzled Yeosang alone in the room.

With the light finally casted into the room, Yeosang glanced around and noticed how neat and nicely decorated it was. It was about the same size as his bedroom and he realised that it was a study room. A study table was placed against a wall perpendicular to the door, and two big book shelves were arranged behind the table, stacks of books arranged neatly on them. Upon closer inspection, Yeosang noted that they were sociology and psychology study books. Recalling that Wooyoung’s a dancer, Yeosang grimaced at the sudden realisation. Promptly exiting that very room, Yeosang closed the door behind him and leaned against it, closing his eyes momentarily. His eyes soon fell on Wooyoung’s door and even though he resisted, he found himself walking slowly towards his room. Right before he could open it, the doorbell rang.

The doorbell startled Yeosang so badly, he hissed loudly and threw a fit. After regaining composure, Yeosang cleared his throat and walked towards the door. A slightly taller man with good-looking features was holding onto the pizza with one hand and a 1.5L bottle of Cola in another. As Wooyoung set the pizza down, the delivery man smiled sweetly at him.

“You’re probably very confused as to why you’re alive and kicking it,” he said, passing Yeosang back the change. Yeosang swiftly stared at him and felt his heart stopped beating.

“H-how do you…”

The delivery man, whose name tag said Seonghwa on it, smirked and stared down at the former. “How do I know about it?” Taking a step forward, he leaned closer and placed his plump lips beside Yeosang’s ear and whispered, “That’s because I’m the one who brought you back.”

When he pulled back, Yeosang had the most frightened look on his face and it seemed to make Seonghwa relish in his fear. 

“There’s a specific reason as to why I brought you back and it’s not for this.” Seonghwa said as he gestured around the house in circular motion. “I brought you back just so you can redeem yourself.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Yeosang whispered heatedly through his gritted teeth. “Redeem myself? Redeem for what?”

“Ah. That’s right. Amnesia. Well, I’ll make it short and clear. You have 45 days to redeem yourself. Considering that you’ve been alive for three days now, you only have... 42 days left.” Seonghwa explained nonchalantly, a smug look plastered on his face. “Failure to do so would only grant you a place in Hell.”

“I don’t even know what I’m redeeming myself for.” Yeosang sighed as he shoved the change in the pocket of his sweatpants and stared at Seonghwa. “This is bullshit. You’re probably one of the security guys who got sent out to come and find me. Fuck outta here.”

Seonghwa stopped the door from closing and firmly pushed it open, petrifying Yeosang. Yeosang took a step back as he took several steps toward him. He could feel himself swallowing hard and felt the acceleration of his heart. 

“Yeosang, oh Yeosang,” Seonghwa said hauntingly as he reached over and caressed Yeosang’s face. When his hand landed on his neck, Seonghwa firmly grabbed it and squeezed it, surprising Yeosang as he grabbed onto his hands and struggled to release himself from his grip. Yeosang suddenly began gasping for air and the skin on his face began to slowly rot. “You should be nicer to me, especially when I have given you life again at redeeming yourself. I give you life, I can take it away just like that. Don’t try me, Yeosang.”

Once Yeosang was released from his grip, he dropped to the floor and coughed as his body started regenerating back to normal. Tears welled up in his eyes and Yeosang wanted so much to lunge at him and brutally attack him, but he knew if he did such a thing, it was over for him. Staggeringly standing up, he stared at Seonghwa who looked at him with a straight face and said, “I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself. To make things right. Don’t waste time, don’t waste my efforts, but most of all, don’t waste this chance.” Seonghwa swiftly turned and exited, but not before Yeosang stopped him.

“How do I know what I’m redeeming myself for?”

Turning slightly, Seonghwa casted a small smile at him. “I believe your recurring dreams will be of help. Remember, 42 days left. Oh, something else.” Seonghwa turned again and Yeosang noticed how wide his smile got. “Don’t get too attached to the host. I should also let you know that by the time you successfully redeemed yourself, you will cease to exist again. Remember that.”

Right after he said that, Wooyoung emerged and Yeosang panicked. “Have a good day, sir.”

Wooyoung’s confused look relieved Yeosang so he lied and said the delivery guy came by and dropped the pizza off. Wooyoung’s eyes went wide with delight and hustled into the living room.

“You’re home early.”

“Oh yeah. Had to cancel a class because there were barely anyone today. It’s the holiday season so everyone’s probably on holiday,” Wooyoung explained through a full mouth. “So what did you do today?”

Yeosang panicked yet again and stuttered on his words. “I, uh… I… um… nothing. Just lazing around and watching tv. You’re kind of a boring person, you know that? No games at all. How do you even kill time?”

“Do I look like I have time for games?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“Ugh. Whatever. I’m gonna shower and then cook something.” Wooyoung shoved the last bitten piece of his pizza and disappeared into his room, dragging his gym bag with him. 

Sighing in relief, Yeosang plopped himself down onto the couch and massaged his temples and inhaled deeply. The deep breath seemed to calm him down a bit but that didn’t stop him from his worries.

42 days? Redemption for what? Cease to exist? Am I alive for 45 days just to amend my wrongs and only to die again after that? What the fuck? And what does my dream even mean?

As questions raced through his mind, he took a slice of the pizza and nibbled on it slowly. He wasn’t even sure where to begin. He knew there was an acquaintance, probably a friend, but he couldn’t remember who it was. All he could remember was the red hair and tall height. Frustrated, Yeosang threw the unfinished pizza back onto the box and groaned silently on the couch.

Dinner was relatively silent and Wooyoung was worried if he had upset Yeosang in any way. He would occasionally cast a glance in his direction but the only thing that worried him a lot was how little he was eating. He remembered the latter was a big eater as he would scoop a second serving for himself but that night, he barely even touched his first serving.

“You ok?” Wooyoung’s voice startled Yeosang and he mentally cursed to himself. Wooyoung noticed how jumpy he gets whenever someone calls out to him, especially when he was in his own headspace.

Reluctance overwhelmed him, but he cleared the air with a white lie and Wooyoung nodded in understanding and didn’t probe further. 

“Hey listen.” Wooyoung gently placed his cutleries down onto the plate and glanced at Yeosang, who felt his breath being taken away by the former’s beauty. “I’m not working tomorrow, and since we’ve only known each other for three days, I thought we can do something fun tomorrow, just to get to know each other better. I mean, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, so I want us to clear up the misunderstanding and well, be cool with each other.”

Yeosang didn’t respond and Wooyoung felt dumb for suggesting something so silly, he was mentally cursing himself. “You want to get to know… me better? Seriously? What if I was a killer? Would you still get to know me?”

Wooyoung was gobsmacked by his question but managed to recover himself. “Well, uh… I mean, there are possibilities that people can turn over a new leaf but that’s probably not the case, right? You’re not a killer, right?” Wooyoung then interrupted Yeosang, who was about to give another sarcastic reply. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t know why I suggested it. You don’t even remember your own name, so I don’t see how that’ll be useful.”

“Yeosang.”

Wooyoung stopped himself, stacks of plates and utensils on top still in his hands. A combined look of shock and worry smeared across his face.

“What?”

Yeosang looked at him forlornly and forced a weak smile. “My name’s Yeosang.”

Wooyou stared at him in disbelief and placed the plates on the table, and ran his hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure how to react as he was used to acknowledging him namelessly. 

“Yeosang, That’s a pretty name.”

Yeosang felt his cheeks heating up and soon he realised that he was blushing. “It’s not.”

“So, Yeosang…” Wooyoung chuckled and bit on his lower lip, his eyes trained on Yeosang. “Anything else you remember?”

Yeosang held his breath in and withheld information about his recurring dreams as well as the delivery guy, Seonghwa. He was hesitant to tell him about the events that’s happening around him, and he wasn’t sure how long he could hide it. He watched as Wooyoung gazed at him expectantly but also noticed a tinge of worry in his eyes. His anticipation intensified his anxiety but Yeosang managed to compose himself and swallowed hard before managing another lie. 

“Nah. Just my name.” Yeosang shrugged his shoulders but Wooyoung noticed his stiff body language and the shifty eyes. Wooyoung was getting annoyed with his secrets and lies and probed him further for more, but Yeosang was indignant about divulging more than what he already knew.

“Come on. There has to be more than just a name. It can be anything. Even a person.” Wooyoung pressed on as he sat in front of Yeosang, his eyes focused intensely on him. “What are you hiding exactly?”

Taken aback, Yeosang frowned and scoffed, his blood seething with intense anger. He wasn't sure how he could respond, but he didn’t like the fact that Wooyoung was interrogating him like a prisoner. “Hiding? What the hell are you talking about now? Look man, all I know is just my name, alright? But if you really need to know, there’s a guy that I knew but I don’t even know his name. I don’t see how that’s relevant since I can’t even remember his name or what our relationship was like. Now, will you please stop asking questions?”

“I’m asking only because then you can go back to your life and I can go back to mine! Don’t you want to go back to your own life?”

Wooyoung’s question got Yeosang thinking and he recalled all of his recurring dreams and came to realise that he was a pretty damaged man with no future. He didn’t want to live a life with no purpose. He was given a second chance just so he can make things right. He wasn’t a firm believer in God but he believed that fate brought him there for a reason. Fate decided that Seonghwa should revive him and give him one more shot in life. 

He gazed up at Wooyoung who was frowning deeply at him, his nostrils flaring slightly. He had never seen Wooyoung this mad before, and while it was a touchy moment, he actually found him endearingly adorable. 

“Well?”

Realising that he was awaiting a response, Yeosang sighed and closed his eyes, uncertainties blazing through his mind.

“No.”

“No what?”

“No, I don’t want to go back to my old life. And I appreciate it if you don’t bring it up again.” Yeosang’s voice was soft but firm, and that surprised Wooyoung. Without saying another word, Yeosang got up and walked to his room, slamming the door behind him and leaving a confused Wooyoung wondering what the hell was going on.

“Well, that was pretty fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, i can be found on twitter;
> 
> @yunhomochii (usual fangirl account)  
> @greymochii (fanfic account)
> 
> i'm pretty occupied with work (i work 35 hours/week) so i'm mostly active on twitter if anyone wants to talk about my fics <3


	3. Wooyoung/Yeosang; As I Wake - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings growing intense and an encounter with an acquaintance.
> 
> Yeosang was battling with finding out the truth and telling the truth to the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I duly ask for your understanding if my work has a couple of mistakes here and there, I wrote in a haste but before rereading it.
> 
> You may or may not cry while reading this chapter, but if you do, I apologise.

Visions blurry, and his memories hazy, Yeosang’s recurring nightmares were getting too intense, it woke Wooyoung up nearly every single night. Each time, Yeosang would be thrashing in bed and wake up with a clammy body due to profusely sweating. No matter how much Wooyoung urged him to tell him what he saw, Yeosang's tenacious refusal was drawing Wooyoung away. Nevertheless, Wooyoung was still drawn to caring for Yeosang, bringing him a bowl of cold water to wipe off his sweat and a glass of water for him to sip on. He felt pity but at the same time, frustrated and worried because he wasn’t willing to open up to him about his dreams. But seeing how pissed he was three nights ago when he pressed him to tell him more about himself, Wooyoung decided it was best not to push his buttons.

While his dreams had all been the same, one particular dream had shifted and it revealed more than what he already knew. 

As darkness loomed over them, the street lights were barely dim, the low lighting gave them both a good view of the house and a good cover for them. As Yeosang breathes rapidly while in his sleep, his dream suddenly panned out to the moment when they got caught and the other assailant, supposedly a friend, barely managed to escape. He was trying to catch up to him but his friend was tall, and his long legs carried him faster than him.

“Mingi, wait!”

A shot rang through the house and the bullet nearly missed Yeosang’s head. Yeosang stopped in his tracks and turned to face the father, his face ridden with rage. As he drew closer to Yeosang, he stopped and drew his rifle out, pointing it at Yeosang, who was already begging for his life. The moment he pulled on the trigger, Yeosang jolted wide awake from his sleep and shot up into a sitting position, his breathing hard and rapid. Beads of sweat trickled down his back and chest, Yeosang jumped in his position when he noticed Wooyoung seated by his bed with a towel in his hand and a worried look smeared across his face.

Wooyoung didn’t utter a word and proceeded to wipe his sweat from his forehead and cheek and passed him the glass of water. He leaned back in his chair as he observed Yeosang taking a swig of the water and continued to breathe hard. 

“It’s the seventh night now…” Wooyoung sighed and set the bowl of cold water down on the bedside table, glancing over to Yeosang with bleak-looking eyes. “Look, it’s ok if you don’t want to tell me now, but if it gets too serious, I hope you can figure it out. I’m not saying that I don’t like what you’re experiencing but I’m just worried. You’re losing sleep, you look like an absolute shit every fucking day, so please, just try to sort your shit out.”

“Didn’t think you’d care about me this much,” Yeosang mumbled as he wiped the sweat off his chin.

Wooyoung was baffled and realised that he was unnecessarily worried for a stranger whom he only met seven nights ago. He wasn’t sure how and why but he was compelled to care for him as he looked pretty vulnerable and fragile. 

“Just… finish your water and try to get some sleep.”

“I’m sorry.”

Wooyoung stopped in his tracks and slowly turned on his heels, confusion in his eyes. “What?”

“I said, I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for, Yeosang?”

Yeosang sheepishly looked away, his fingers fiddling with the duvet. Wooyoung noticed his nervous fidgety movements and walked over to him. He took a seat by his legs and crossed his legs. He tried to reach out for Yeosang's arm but the latter averted from him and Wooyoung instantly pulled back his hand. Slowly, he reached out again and this time, his grasp was gentle but firm. 

"Yeosang, why are apologising?"

Yeosang was anxious and hesitant to respond but he dropped the duvet, revealing his nearly soaked t-shirt. Wooyoung couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he looked at that very moment. He wanted to just jump on him and embrace him, coaxing him and assuring him that life was going to get better. He wished he could confidently go over and comfort him, but he found himself holding back.

With a hard swallow, Yeosang reluctantly gazed over at Wooyoung, who was observing him with intense worry and that made him shudder slightly. "I'm sorry for waking you up every night. Well, almost every night. These dreams..." Yeosang sighed as he ran his hand through his damp hair, his gaze averting elsewhere. "I wish I can tell you everything, but I literally... can't. I-"

"It's ok. I understand."

"It's complicated."

"Yeosang." Wooyoung interrupted him with a stern note in his voice. Yeosang piped down and looked at Wooyoung whose expression had softened. "It's ok. I understand. You don't have to tell me now if you can't. Just like I said earlier on, whatever you have on your mind, be sure to sort it out so that you can sleep peacefully again."

Yeosang gave a nod and smiled weakly at him, but something was tugging at his heart and he could feel his heartbeat accelerating. Ignoring the feeling, Yeosang watched as Wooyoung walked over to the door and before he could open it, he asked him a question.

"Why do you care about me so much?" Wooyoung slightly turned his head, avoiding eye contact with him. Yeosang noted how nervous he got and he held his breath in. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but the former's response caught him off guard.

Wooyoung turned and Yeosang's heart dropped when he saw how exhausted he looked. The screams and thrashing had deprived him of sleep and he looked so haggard, he was so close to passing out any time. Smiling faintly at him, Wooyoung responded, "I don't know. I just do. Maybe because you remind me of San a little, but for some other strange reason, I just do. Even when you push me away, I still do care. It can't be helped, I suppose. Quite frustrating, actually. To care so much for others, you forget about your own interests."

Wooyoung chuckled and let his hand turn the doorknob but didn't open it, seemingly as though he had more to say. "Strange, isn't it? We met only a week ago, and here I am, granting you permission to hog up an empty room in my house and caring for you."

Yeosang was rendered speechless as he had caused quite an inconvenience for Wooyoung. Right before he could say anything comforting to Wooyoung, Wooyoung had bid him good night and left. He had left Bora in the room, and in an instant, she climbed onto his bed and found a comfortable spot to sleep on. He glanced at the door, where Wooyoung had stood a minute ago and Yeosang couldn't help but imagine his silhouette gliding across the room. Sighing deeply, Yeosang sank back into his pillow and forced his eyes closed, worried that the haunting dream-like memories would come flooding into his sleep again.

Yeosang woke up to Bora licking his face and he averted her rough licks, he was surprised to see the brightness of the sun shining through the peeking curtains. Yeosang had slept on his front and when he turned his face into the pillow, he groaned so hard Bora whined and took a couple of steps back from him. When he realised he had scared her off, Yeosang cooingly picked her up and coaxed her.

The house was brightly lit thanks to the blinders being pulled up. Yeosang peeped at every corner and saw no sign of Wooyoung, and just as he was about to enter the kitchen, he saw a note on the dining table, followed by a pair of keys as well as a box. Frowning, Yeosang unfolded the paper, a soft sigh escaped his lips.

"Hey,  
I made a copy of the house key in case you need to get out of the house. I also got you a cellphone and saved my number in it. I'm sure you know how to use it, so use it well. It's an expensive one too, so please take care of it.

I left you some money too, just in case. It's the least I can do to help you.

Call or text me if you need anything.

Cheers.  
Wooyoung"

"A cell phone?" Yeosang dropped the paper and unboxed the phone and was shocked to see it was an iPhone 11. He wasn't expecting to be given something to grand but was still grateful for the thought. "Is there anything that this dude can't afford?"

He was left even more speechless when Wooyoung had left him a couple of hundred dollar bills in an envelope. Not that he could remember anything but for a moment, he felt a little richer than the usual. Seeing how he got his pair of house keys, Yeosang decided it was time to explore the outside world and hopefully help him to recover what he had lost. He wasn't expecting much, but if there was anything that could help to trigger his memory, he'd be more than grateful for it. Hopefully, it would be fast considering how much time he had left to fulfill his task.

Soaking under the shower, Yeosang let the warm water wash over his clammy body and suddenly, a ping of shock triggered his memory and he winced in pain. Clutching his head and screaming in agony, Yeosang's vision was blurred out by memories of his acquittance and the surrounding. With each triggering memory, it got more excruciating for Yeosang, his nose started bleeding. The last piece of memory was in an apartment that he wasn't sure whose it belonged to, but had a familiar feel to it. 

His acquaintance, Mingi, spoke to him. "It has to happen tonight, Yeosang. There's no other day we can do this. It's either you're with me, or you're not."

As the memory fades, Yeosang gasped and was panting heavily, the showerhead washing over him. 

"The fuck was that?"

He felt like a child, hesitating as he took his first step out of the apartment building after what seemed like forever since he was holed up at Wooyoung's home. With the blazing hot sun shining brightly at him, Yeosang hissed and covered his eyes with his arm. As he impatiently allowed his eyes to adjust to the brightness, he was left agape at his surroundings. 

The city was bustling with people rushing to work and children hustling to school. Yeosang observed as a group of three businessmen talked about work as they worked and then shifted his gaze to a slender lady talking on her phone as her heels clicked onto the pavement when she walked.

"Wow. I forgot how busy a city can be like." Yeosang muttered under his breath as he wandered off aimlessly. He wasn't sure where he was headed to, but he figured he'd just wander around and hope to have more triggering memories. "I seriously need God on my side right now. I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm supposed to be doing."

"You called?"

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Yeosang jumped and swiveled on his feet, his face contorted with anger. When he realised who it was, Yeosang groaned out loud and rolled his eyes at him. "You again."

"You don't seem pleased to see me," Seonghwa said as he draped his around Yeosang's shoulder. "Come on. You're out of the house, how about some city-exploring, hm?"

Yeosang stopped walking, his sharp glare concentrated on Seonghwa, and even he, who had more power over him, shuddered under his intense stare. "I've got far more important things to do. Now, will you please leave me alone?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that?" Yeosang's frown deepened and Seonghwa was amused at his confusion. "I'm tasked to watch over you, so wherever you go, I'll be behind you."

"That's just... creepy."

"I'm God of Live and Resuscitation, remember? Like any other Gods, I watch over who I revive."

"You can't be watching over me 24/7 now, can you? You've probably revived more people by now and surely you can't be keeping a close eye on me alone now, can you?"

Seonghwa smirked and stopped in front of Yeosang, a smug look smeared across his face. If there was one thing that Yeosang despised the most, it was his irritating smug expression. "Yes, I indeed revived more people, but you're my top priority, so hence, why I'm focused more on you. But don't worry, I don't peep at you while you shower. It's simply not in my job description."

Yeosang's mouth was left ajar when Seonghwa said that but the latter walked off before he could say his piece.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

Hesitation ran through his mind, but Yeosang decided it was worth a shot. "You're a God, right?"

"Yes?" Seonghwa gave him a look as though he was asking a dumb question but softened up as he waited for Yeosang to say more.

"Since you're a God, can't you like... help me with my problem?"

"I'm afraid that's out of my purpose, Yeosang. My sole purpose is revival, not guidance. To truly understand your purpose, you must first embrace that mistake and let it manifest your mind. Once you've come to terms with your mistakes, you will realise what you are capable of becoming. I know my words aren't much of a help, but I'm advising you what you can do to help with your problem. I believe more triggering memories have come to light?"

Yeosang nodded and sighed, his steps transitioning into a shuffle as his mind pondered upon the memories that have uncovered themselves. 

"Don't think too hard. Just take your time to remember. You still have over 30 days to reclaim yourself."

Yeosang scowled and looked away, frustration manifesting his heart and mind. "What's the point, anyway? I'm going to end up dying again."

"As I told you before, you'll be granted safe passage to Heaven. As unbelievable as it sounds, it's true. Whether you want to believe or not, it's entirely up to you. I'm here to watch over you, making sure you're not doing anything stupid."

"Like what?"

"Killing yourself. Not that you'd do it, but just to make sure." Yeosang rolled his eyes and watched as Seonghwa turned into a dark corner, turning briefly, a small smile plastered on his face. "I think I'm done for now. Whatever you're going through, just remember that you're not alone."

Just like that, he was gone. Yeosang stared at the empty space and blinked several times just to clear his head. He glanced around and everyone else seemed oblivious to what was happening around him, and for a moment, he seemed relieved. Taking in Seonghwa's words, Yeosang decided that he would do some exploration just so he could get used to the crooks and crannies of the city. 

By the time he got back, it was half-past seven and Wooyoung was seated at the dining table, his hands planted under his chin. His leg was bobbing up and down impatiently and when he saw Yeosang, he jumped up from his seat, annoyance spread across his face.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

"What?"

"I called you and you didn't answer! I waited for you to come home so we can have dinner together." Wooyoung stopped breathing and Yeosang observed as his eyes went wide with horror. "That... came out weirdly."

Yeosang tried to calm him down but Wooyoung was still frantic and Yeosang immediately grabbed his face with both hands, crushing his cheeks together. Realising what he had done and how close they were, Yeosang quickly detached himself from Wooyoung and retreated back but not before he hesitantly grabbed Wooyoung's shoulders and gently squeezed them.

"I-I'm sorry. I was just out exploring the city since I was bored at home and I didn't realise that you'd wait for me to come home to have dinner." Yeosang's tone was soft and gentle and Wooyoung felt a tug on his heartstring as the timbre of his voice lingered in his ears. "I probably left my phone on silent too, so I really am sorry."

Wooyoung stood sheepishly in place and merely nodded his head. Yeosang noted the pink tinge on his cheeks and felt the crook of his lips curled up into a slight smile. He had never seen Wooyoung blush and when he did, it made him even more adorable and Yeosang couldn't help himself but to grin at the former. Wooyoung glanced at him and frowned when he saw Yeosang smiling creepily at him.

"Why are you smiling?" The pink on his cheeks deepened when Yeosang didn't respond and had to shake him off. "Dude, you're creeping me out."

Once Yeosang realised that he was staring at him, he puzzlingly asked, "What?"

"Nevermind. Just get your ass to the dining table. Dinner's getting cold." Wooyoung shook his head and sat in his chair, his head still bowed down to hide his blush. Little did he know that Yeosang already saw all that.

Neither of the men said much as they ate dinner but both could feel an odd tension rising. It didn't bother Yeosang but it confused him a lot because he wasn't sure what was going on with him. Whenever he glanced at Wooyoung, all he could see was an ethereal man, eating in silence. Feeling butterflies in his tummy, Yeosang stopped eating and excused himself. Wooyoung watched as he rushed into the kitchen with his half-eaten meal and bolted for the room. He didn't seem to be bothered by his unfinished meal; what bothered him more was his distancing. As Wooyoung finished his food in silence, Yeosang laid face-first into his pillow on his bed. He could feel his heart racing and he hated how it was driving him insane. 

For the next couple of days, both men spent time away from each other, hoping that the tension would subside, but with every absence, the heart grows fonder and fonder. Yeosang recalled what Seonghwa had told him and tried avoiding him as much as possible, but each time he avoided him, the thought of him crossed his mind, much to his dismay. 

Yeosang counted down the number of days he had left before the end of his time, and sadness brewed inside of him. Three weeks left and he'd be lowered six feet under. 

Yeosang had gotten ready to go out and each time he had to put on San's clothes, he'd grimace in disgust. But he didn't have any other option, and he didn't have much money on him as Wooyoung didn't give him much to spend on. 

Just as he exited his room, he halted in his tracks when he saw Wooyoung sprawled on the couch with Bora sleeping on his lap. Wooyoung seemed flustered too and his eyes fluttered from him and then back to the television. Clearing his throat, Wooyoung focused his gaze on the television, flicking through the channels.

Yeosang gawkily stood in the hallway, his eyes shifting from Wooyoung to the clock and then the front door. Fidgeting on his heels, Yeosang cleared his throat and said in a quiet voice, "I'm going out. Won't be back so soon."

"Uh? Oh, oh. Ok." Wooyoung awkwardly nodded at Yeosang. Yeosang's heart dropped at the response and shuffled towards the door before he got stopped by him. "Be safe... Yeosang."

A small smile crept up onto his face but he quickly dropped it and nodded in return. "Thanks... Wooyoung."

For a moment, Wooyoung felt his heart fluttering at the sound of his name escaping Yeosang's lips. Not wanting to make it obvious, Wooyoung quickly turned back to the television, holding his breath in and watching Yeosang leave from the corner of his eye. Once Yeosang had left, Wooyoung groaned in place and covered his face with the pillow and screamed into it. 

When he was finally done venting his frustration out, he turned to Bora, who was looking at him in confusion and sighed heavily. "This is getting really complicated, Bora." He rubbed the bridge of his nose in between his eyes and closed his eyes as he steadied his breathing.

While they had not spent much time together, Wooyoung couldn't help but think about how good of a company Yeosang was. He noticed how hard he'd try to make conversations, but would avoid talking about himself. As much as he was annoyed that he was keeping his private life a secret, he was still grateful for his presence.

Opening his eyes and smiling to himself, Wooyoung laughed nervously.

"Bora. I think I'm in love with Yeosang."

Yeosang patronised the same café that he'd been visiting days ago and sat by the window. He found it calming to be out of the house and be by himself as he sipped on his coffee. While he was desperate to find out more about his past and fulfill his task, he felt that a break would do him just fine.

"Y-Yeosang?"

Yeosang was smiling at the serene sight before him but it faltered when he realised who was standing in front of him. 

Clad in his jeans and oversized hoodie, the tall man towered over Yeosang. Gazing up, Yeosang clenched his jaw and sharpened his gaze, making him shudder under his intense stare.

"Mingi."

Yeosang stood up and even though he was a couple of inches shorter than Mingi, he held a stronger presence. 

"Y-Yeosang, I can explain. P-ple-"

"I fucking died because of you." 

Mingi's eyes went wide and his mouth opened and closed as though he wanted to say something, but no words came out. "W-what?"

"I'm leaving."

"Yeosang, wait!" Mingi caught up with Yeosang who took big strides as he walked. He could feel anger seething inside of him and he wanted to pounce on him and beat the living shit out of him, but he held his temper in. "Yeosang, stop."

"Fuck you, Mingi. I'm not going to listen to what you have to say." Yeosang hissed through gritted teeth, his anger flaring.

"Will you please shut the fuck up and listen to me?!" Mingi shouted, earning a few stares from the people around them. Mingi stared them down and barked at them, scaring them away. "If you have any sense of self-preservation, YOU WILL SCATTER!"

Turning back to Yeosang, Mingi sighed and ran his fingers through his faded red hair. "Can we go somewhere more private to talk?"

Mingi's apartment was located 25 minutes away from where Wooyoung lived and while it wasn't as grand or luxurious as Wooyoung's, it was cozy and comfortable. 

Gesturing to a seat next to the couch, Mingi fetched them both a can of beer, and Yeosang accepted it begrudgingly. Mingi sat down on the couch, his gaze everywhere else but Yeosang.

"What did you mean when you said you died? How are you dead and then alive again then? Or are you just trying to scare me off?"

Yeosang stared at him intensely before sighing loudly, setting the beer down on the table. He unbuttoned his top and pulled it down to reveal the healing gunshot wound.

"Is that..."

"A gunshot wound."

"How the fuck?"

Yeosang bit on his lower lip, a dilemma running through his mind. He wanted to tell him how much he had fucked him over, but it was far more complicated than that. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me, Yeosang."

"I can't."

"We've been friends since fifth grade! I've heard the worst things from you, what's so hard with telling me about that?"

"You really want to know?" Yeosang glanced up at Mingi who had a serious look on his face. "Fine."

Standing up, Yeosang circled in place while calling out to Seonghwa. "I know you're here. Come out, now."

"Yeosang... who are you talking to?" Ignoring Mingi, Yeosang continued turning and calling, until a familiar voice spoke up.

"You really shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"

"Calling me in front of a non-believer."

"Then why did you come?"

"Because you called."

"So, it's not wrong then, right?" Seonghwa sighed and turned to face Mingi, who was gaping at him with wide-eyes. 

"By the end of this meeting, I will have to erase this memory from him. I'm sure you can understand that, right?"

"I don't really care. I just need him to understand how and why I was brought back to life."

"B-brought back to life? So you really did die?"

"Yes, he did. And I brought him back." Seonghwa replied calmly as he took a seat at where Yeosang had previously sat.

"B-but why?"

Seonghwa gazed at the two men and gestured for Yeosang to take a seat beside Mingi, who looked extremely confused more than terrified. 

"I'm sure you remember of the robbery you did a month ago, Mingi. The one that got Yeosang killed."

Yeosang swiveled his head in Mingi's direction and he was stuttering as he recalled the incident. "It wasn't supposed to happen. Things fucked u-"

"No, you messed it up when you woke the young daughter up with your failed attempt at forced entry through her room window. Yeosang had wanted to back out but you pulled him with you, thinking she was still asleep. And when she woke up, you pushed her down the stairs. Yeosang rushed over to see if she was ok but he got caught by her father. Your action cost him his life, Mingi."

Mingi was speechless and kept shifting gaze from Yeosang to Seonghwa. Finally settling his eyes on Yeosang, Mingi got onto his knees and grabbed onto Yeosang's knees, clutching very tightly onto his pants. Yeosang was taken aback by Mingi's sudden gesture and wanted to stand up but was stopped by Mingi’s pleas.

“Yeosang, please forgive me. Please! I’m so sorry. I really am. Please. Please.”

Yeosang looked at Seonghwa who told him that the choice was his to make. Yeosang gazed down at Mingi who was bawling his eyes out as he begged for forgiveness and then he recalled Wooyoung. While he had been a big piece of shit towards him, Wooyoung showed nothing but kindness in return. Yeosang was given a chance at a new life and as he gazed down at Mingi, he felt nothing but pain. He may not remember much from the time they robbed the house and before, but seeing how genuinely sorry Mingi was, Yeosang decided not to hold a grudge against him.

“I forgive you.”

Mingi looked up, tears staining his face so much, he looked like an absolute mess. “What?”

“Mingi, I forgive you. I… I can’t remember much but I want you to know that I forgive you. I don’t know if we can still be friends again because…” Yeosang stopped himself and hesitated. He turned to Seonghwa again who stared blankly at him.

“He will die again.”

“What? W-what do you mean he’ll die again?”

“He only has 20 days to redeem himself, and since he already knows what had happened, he should also already know what needs to be done.” Seonghwa explained as he got up from his seat. 

Mingi crawled over to Seonghwa and clung onto him like it was him who needed a sparing of his life. “Don’t let him die, please!”

“I’m sorry, Mingi. But that is how it is.”

“No, please. Please!”

“Mingi.” Mingi turned to face Yeosang who had a forlorn look on his face. “Let him go. Please.”

Mingi instantly released Seonghwa from his grip and crawled back to him, his eyes and nose red and swollen from crying.

“Tell me that is all a lie. You can’t die again. You’ve forgiven me, you can’t die!” Mingi was wailing as he held onto Yeosang closely, burying his head into his chest. “Please take me instead! Please.”

“Mingi, stop. It’s already decided. This is my fate. I’ve accepted it. And so should you.”

“If there is nothing else for me here, I will go.”

Yeosang turned to Seonghwa and nodded his head. “You can go. Thank you.”

“Please, Yeosang. I’m sorry, ok. I’m sorry. Please.” Yeosang was fighting back his tears. But it’s been done. His fate had already been decided. There was nothing anyone could do anything about it. 

“Mingi. Let it go. Look at me.” Yeosang forced Mingi to look at him and he felt a streak of tear trickle down his cheek. “You can’t do anything about it. I’ve forgiven you. Remember that.”

“But we just… I feel so guilty and lost. I was the reason why you got shot. It should have been me!”

“Mingi, stop. Please, just stop. Nothing’s going to change this. Accept it.”

Mingi stopped crying and buried his face in his lap, his soft sobbing echoed through the room. Yeosang hesitantly reached out and rubbed his back, the soft sobs slowly subsiding.

“Mingi, I need to go back.”


	4. Wooyoung/Yeosang; As I Wake - Chapter 4 (Finale)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redemption fulfilled and love has been found.
> 
> Yeosang was conflicted with telling Wooyoung about his second death. Sparing him the details, Yeosang decided to spend the remainders to the fullest, especially with the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW //
> 
> this is full-on angst!!! near the end, you WILL cry, so i duly apologise if you couldn't read it till the end.

Wooyoung was growing anxious and worried as Yeosang had begun spending more time outside than at home. He knew he shouldn't have to feel that way considering that they weren't in a relationship, to begin with. After having admitted to himself about his feelings for him, he couldn't help but have growing concerns and worries. 

Yeosang had spent the next three days with Mingi, discussing ways and possibilities of approaching the family without getting pointed at with a gun.

"Are you sure this is what you have to do? It's risky," Mingi asked as he slowed the car down.

"Yes... Mingi. This is probably my fifth time reaffirming this with you." Yeosang sighed as he stared out the window and gawk at the big house. "Didn't realise it looks larger in real life than in my dreams."

"Dreams? You had dreams about this place?"

Turning to him, Yeosang said, "Yeah. It went on for several nights. I didn't know what went on, but it was pretty fucked and I was losing sleep. And because of me, Wooyoung lo-"

"Wooyoung?"

Yeosang stopped himself when he said his name. He realised that he hadn't been at home much, and how much he missed him dearly.

Missed him. Ah, it's starting to make sense now. 

Yeosang chuckled bitterly and choked back on his tears as he remembered Wooyoung's handsome face. How he missed the awkwardness and tension that was radiating through the room.

"Dude, who's Wooyoung?"

Yeosang's mind was interrupted by Mingi's question and right before he could answer, he slapped Mingi's arm. "They're here."

The family had just gotten back home from shopping and the duo decided to catch up after them, prompting the father to come at them with clenched fists.

"S-sir, please calm down. We came here not to find trouble but to apologise. Please." Yeosang beckoned as he put his hands up in defense. "We're here to apologise, so, please. Don't chase us away."

"You're not forgiven. Now get out!" The father bellowed but his young daughter, who was in crutches, came over to him and gently squeezed his arm.

"Papa, it's ok. Let them talk. Please." Yeosang remembered her and slowly, his memory was coming back. Seeing how guilty he looked, she smiled sweetly at him. "Go on."

Without taking his eyes off her, Yeosang dropped to his knees and bowed in front of them. Mingi followed suit and got up before he did to apologise instead, surprising Yeosang.

"I should take the blame. I was the one who dragged him with me and I was the one who pushed your daughter down the stairs. I'm sincerely sorry and I wished that it never happened. I'm so sorry."

Yeosang stared at Mingi, remorse spread across his face. Glancing up at the father, Yeosang piped in. "We're willing to pay for any damages done, sir. But know that we're here to sincerely apologise for what we did. I'm sorry - we're sorry that we broke into your house and hurt your daughter. We've moved past it, but our conscience got the better of us and that's why we're here... to apologise. I can understand if you can't forgive us, but please know that we didn't mean to harm your daughter in any way. We're sorry. Truly."

"Papa. No. This is my choice to make," the daughter stopped her father from screaming at them and he reluctantly obliged. Turning back to the men, she offered her free hand and pulled them up. Yeosang and Mingi continued bowing at them and she had to tell them to stop. "I forgive you. I know that you didn't mean any harm. You panicked and you accidentally pushed me down the stairs. I understand, and it's ok."

"Malia!"

"Papa, please stop. Let me talk." Malia snapped at her father as he tried to stop her from talking. "I don't want to hold grudges or be spiteful because that is not how I was brought up to be. My parents brought me up to be kind and compassionate, and while I disagreed with your actions, you realised your mistake and your apologies were genuine, so yes, I forgive you."

Turning back to her father, Malia said, "You said that this world isn't perfect. You taught me to show more love than hatred. While they have hurt me, I have no ill feelings. I hope you can do the same too, Papa. You taught me to love, I'm sure you can remember that."

He stared at his young daughter and his gaze began to soften. Clutching her chin and subtly shaking her head, he turned to them and sighed heavily. 

"My daughter is only sixteen, but she has so much wisdom, which I truly admire. I'm doing this for Malia, and I hope that you have learned your lesson. Never rob a house ever again. You hear me?" Yeosang and Mingi nodded their heads furiously and he brushed them off to go home. "Before you go..."

"Yes, sir?" Yeosang stopped and faced him, his heart racing rapidly. He half-anticipated the question that was going to come.

"I remember shooting you in the chest, how did you survive it?" He narrowed his eyes at Yeosang, who laughed nervously in return.

"You missed by an inch. Have a good day, sir." Yeosang beckoned Mingi to go back as soon as possible before he could question them even more. Yeosang heaved a sigh of relief once he was in the car and turned his head to see the family heading back into their house, with the father occasionally glancing back to glance at them.

"Where to now?"

Turning to him with a smile, Yeosang said, "Home."

The house was brightly lit even though the sun was about to set, but it was also quiet. He was usually greeted by Bora, but not that day. Yeosang carefully inched towards the kitchen but couldn't find Bora nor Wooyoung. He slowly tiptoed towards the living room and then the spare room, no sight of either of them. As he got closer to Wooyoung's room, he hesitated. Just as he reached for the doorknob, a voice startled him.

"You're home."

"Jesus!" Yeosang jumped as he clutched his chest and scowled in frustration. He was frowning as he turned but it disappeared when he saw the look on Wooyoung's face. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Are you... ok?"

Wooyoung wasn't looking at him at all and when Yeosang asked him a question, he slowly lifted his gaze, a dismal look in his eyes. Pushing past Yeosang, he swatted Yeosang's hand away from the knob and was going to rush in but not before Yeosang grabbed him by his free hand.

"What the hell is going on with you, Wooyoung?"

"It doesn't matter, just release my arm... right now."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Yeosang's grip on Wooyoung got tighter and the latter was resisting very hard, and in turn, hurt himself along the way. Yeosang noticed tears welling up in his eyes and he felt a tug on his heartstring. Releasing him from his grip, Wooyoung quickly dived into his room and slammed the door in his face.

Yeosang decided to make dinner and by the time it was seven-thirty, Wooyoung still hadn't emerged. Worried, Yeosang strode towards his room but halted and hesitated yet again. Without knocking, Yeosang slowly turned the knob and quietly pushed the door open, trying to catch sight of Wooyoung. When he finally caught sight of him, he slowly made his way in.

Wooyoung was seated on his bed, his back facing the door. He hadn't heard Yeosang entering, so it surprised him when Yeosang emerged from the side of his bed. He was fiddling with the Rubix cube and Yeosang took a seat beside him on the bed. Wooyoung had ceiling-to-floor windows, so the moon shone brightly in his room. It was as big as his but far more... occupied; racks of clothes were lined up on one side of his room and a large pin board was placed perpendicular to the racks. 

Turning back to Wooyoung, Yeosang moved slightly closer to him, closing in on the gap. In the past few days, he had felt more comfortable around him, albeit still awkward in conversations, but he was gradually warming up to him. When he had been busy with Mingi, he didn't realise how much he had missed Wooyoung. 

"You're angry because I'm rarely at home now."

"I shouldn't have made a copy of the keys." Wooyoung grumbled as he tossed the toy aside and turned his face away.

Yeosang was undeterred and pulled on his arm to have him face him. When he wouldn't budge, Yeosang pushed him onto the bed and crawled on top of him, shocking Wooyoung. 

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Compromising." He pushed his hands down hard into the bed and stared dead into Wooyoung's eyes. Wooyoung avoided his intense gaze and tried to push him off using his pelvis but the man was absolutely strong.

"Yeosang, get off me right now."

"Or what?"

"Don't try me, Yeosang." Wooyoung growled through gritted teeth as he continuously tried to fight his way out of his grasp. "God damn it. Why the fuck are you so strong?!"

Yeosang smirked but suddenly felt his body being lifted and within seconds, he was thrown off the bed. Wooyoung gasped when he noticed that Yeosang had hit his head against the table and quickly went over to help him.

"Shit, fuck. I'm sorry, that was too rough of me." Wooyoung anxiously apologised as he rubbed the back of Yeosang's head, a worried look on his face. "Are you ok? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Yeosang was wincing in pain but quickly recovered from the pain and shock and was startled to see how up-close Wooyoung was. Disregarding his question, Yeosang grabbed Wooyoung's fingers and opened up the remaining fingers, and intertwined their fingers together. Wooyoung panicked and tried to pull away but Yeosang grabbed him by the nape of his neck and kissed him on the lips, surprising him even more. 

As the kiss got more passionate, Wooyoung relaxed, and allowed himself to melt into Yeosang's kiss. Yeosang pulled away and glanced at Wooyoung who looked slightly confused. Pulling him back for another kiss, Wooyoung pulled both of them up and fell backwards onto the bed, with Yeosang pinning Wooyoung underneath. Both of them broke out of the kiss and they began undressing leaving the briefs on. 

Both men were panting heavily as they stared at each other's almost-naked bodies and Wooyoung slowly traced Yeosang's facial features with one hand while the other rested on Yeosang's arm. 

"You're so beautiful," Wooyoung whispered as his fingers landed on his lips. Yeosang gently grabbed his hand and kissed each and every finger before placing his hand on his face.

Smiling fondly at him, Yeosang closed in on the gap, their lips barely touching. "So are you." Yeosang dipped in and kissed him again, slowly diving lower and lower, down to his jawline, then his neck and then his collarbone. Soft moans escaped Wooyoung's lips and it was the most sexiest thing Yeosang had ever heard.

"Yeosang," Wooyoung whispered as Yeosang got lower, stopping at the hem of his brief. Yeosang noted how rapid his breathing got and smirked to himself. "Yeosang, please."

Crawling back up, Yeosang kissed him on the lips one last time before removing both of their briefs and tossing it aside.

Woooyoung laid under Yeosang's arm as they remained in each other's embrace. The love-making had been intense and passionate, and Wooyoung felt them becoming as one... like soulmates. He didn't think that he would fall for a man, considering that his past lovers had all been women, but things change over time. 

They laid in silence, with Yeosang making soft circles on his back. Wooyoung closed his eyes, but the gentle gesture on his back was keeping him awake. Snuggling closer to Yeosang, Wooyoung buried his head into the crook of his neck and Yeosang merely chuckled at his clinginess. Yeosang pulled him closer and stroked his ear, dropping kisses on his forehead before trying to shut his eyes off.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fall asleep. The thought haunted him endlessly and he didn't know how to let Wooyoung know.

"Wooyoung," Yeosang said softly. Wooyoung was soundly asleep but Yeosang could feel him shifting in his sleep.

"Mm."

"I have to tell you something."

"Mm?"

Yeosang opened his mouth but soon found himself hesitating and clenched his jaw shut. Biting on his lower lip, Yeosang opened his eyes sorrowfully and felt a tear streamed down his temple. Another day with another white lie, but this time, the white lie was the truth.

"I love you."

Yeosang jolted wide awake by the sound of a glass breaking. Grabbing his pants, Yeosang clumsily slipped them on and adjusted the hem strings, all the while making his way to the kitchen to find a brief-only Wooyoung and an apron wrapped around him, wiping up the pancake batter on the floor. Leaning against the door frame, Yeosang smiled and shook his head at the same time, realising how clumsy Wooyoung could be.

"Fuck these pancakes. All I want to do is make pancakes for Yeo- Oh, hey!" Wooyoung laughed nervously as he gazed at the mess on the floor and back at him. "You're awake."

Yeosang was still smiling but didn't say anything. It made him even more nervous as he walked closer and closer but did not say a word. Placing a hand behind his bareback, Yeosang pulled him closer and softly pecked him on the lips, the smile never fading.

"Good morning."

Wooyoung was blushing madly and it made Yeosang giggle. "G-good morning to you t-too, Yeosang."

"So, I see you wanted to be romantic and make me pancakes, but clearly, that failed you."

"Are you teasing me right now?"

"No," Yeosang's smile widened and kissed him again, calming the other man down. "Just observing."

As they engaged in another one of their intimate moments, the doorbell rang. Both of them looked at each other quizzically and Yeosang offered to answer the door. Grabbing the nearest tshirt lying around, Yeosang hastily put it on and combed his hair back nicely before answering the door.

Panicked soared through his mind as Seonghwa stood before him, dressed in his pizza delivery uniform again. Glancing back, Yeosang closed the door behind him and hissed at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I told you, didn't I? I'm watching over you."

"Yeah, but now? I'm in the middle of something, so do you mind?" He was staring daggers at Seonghwa but he was simply unfazed.

"I'm here to only deliver pizzas, not cause trouble," Seonghwa stated in a matter-of-fact manner. "It's on me."

"Hey, Yeosang, who is- Oh!"

"Good morning, sir. I've come to deliver two boxes of pizza. I believe they're the Mediterranean and Supreme Cheese."

Wooyoung looked confused but Yeosang interrupted him. "I ordered them the moment I heard the glass break earlier on. You're so careless this morning."

"Ah, right." Wooyoung laughed awkwardly and retreated back into the house with the pizza, leaving Yeosang with Seonghwa again.

"I told you not to get too attached to the host."

"What is it to you whether I get too attached or not?" Yeosang snapped as he continued glaring at Seonghwa.

"It's not me, it's him. Do you think he'll be able to handle the truth when he finds out? How do you think this will turn out? Like a fairy-tale? Yeosang, oh my," Seonghwa laughed sinisterly and that scared the crap out of Yeosang. "You're so innocent sometimes, it's frustrating."

Seonghwa sighed and bit on his lower lip, lost in his own thoughts. "I've done my part, so I can't interfere with your personal life. Your task has been fulfilled but you're left with less than three weeks on this... life of yours. So I guess you better live the best of your life until then."

Without another word, he disappeared. Yeosang was left stranded with so many thoughts and the biggest dilemma was telling Wooyoung the truth. He didn't want to hide anything from him anymore, but he wasn't sure how he'd take it. 

"Fuck it, I'm not telling him anything."

As the days grew closer and closer, so were their relationship. Yeosang decided to embrace the relationship and give as much attention to Wooyoung as he possibly could. He never forgot Mingi and would contact him once in a while but his priority was Wooyoung, and Wooyoung only. Even though he didn't have much time left, it was better spent with the man he loved than nothing. 

Yeosang's memories slowly came into play, but he chose to forget them as he wanted to live his present well and focus on becoming a better person, even if it was for a short period of time.

Wooyoung had never felt complete and was thankful for Yeosang. He knew Yeosang was still hiding something from him, but he didn't want to pressure him into telling him, especially when they had just established a relationship together.

"Wooyoung."

"Hm?" 

Both men had agreed to stay in together for a date as they felt more relaxed at home than outside. They decided to binge-watch Lord of the Rings and Yeosang had prepared popcorns for both of them. Wooyoung laid comfortably on Yeosang's chest and carried Bora up onto his lap.

The time was nearly up and he wanted to spend his last day in a special way. "Wooyoung."

"You've said my name twice, what's up?" Wooyoung glanced up and grinned sheepishly at him. Yeosang melted at the beautiful smile and felt a lump growing in the back of his throat.

"Do you... want to go to the park tomorrow?"

Wooyoung sat up suddenly, his brows creasing into a frown. "The park? Why the sudden suggestion?"

"O-oh, I just feel like having a night walk in the park, that's all. I mean, i-it's ok if you don't want to..." Yeosang laughed nervously as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

"Ok. We'll go tomorrow."

Yeosang's eyes lit up and his smile widened when Wooyoung agreed to go to the park. "Yeah?"

"Mhm. Now shut up and watch the movie quietly with me." Wooyoung kissed him on the cheek and laid back down on his chest, much to Yeosang's delight.

Even though he was close to his second death, Yeosang was counting his blessings he had with Wooyoung. Every minute of every day spent together with him, he wanted to cherish it forever. He stifled a tear and had to choke back so hard, his throat was hurting. 

Even though they've held hands a couple of times before, Wooyoung and Yeosang would still be shy about grabbing hold of each other's hands and intertwining their fingers.

The night sky was alluring; patches of white clouds fainting against the blue and purple sky, illuminated by the brightly lit full moon. Stars hovered over them and Yeosang stared in awe at the sight above him. He had beckoned for the both of them to lie down and stare up at the sky, admiring the stars and making out constellations together.

In less than three hours, Yeosang would meet his death again and he tried so much not to think about it. He anticipated that Mingi was aware that his death was that day and told him where he would be. There weren't many people around and Yeosang was glad about that. He wasn't sure how they'd react when they saw a dead body lying on the grass patch with a mournful Wooyoung crying over him.

They laid in silence but they could feel each other's presence and they're thankful for that. Wooyoung's hand found Yeosang and he didn't hesitate to grab and put it to his chest. Yeosang giggled shyly and turned to gaze at him, who reciprocated and flashed him the biggest smile he had ever seen. Yeosang only finally noticed a small dimple on his left cheek and that intensified his beauty. 

"Yeosang."

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For existing. For being here... together with me."

Yeosang was taken aback and wanted to tell him that his time was nearly up, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he turned to his side and caressed Wooyoung's face, his eyes concentrated on the latter. 

"No thank you... for giving me hope. And a second chance at life."

Wooyoung giggled and creased his brows. "Second chance at life? What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." Yeosang bit on his lower lip and smiled endearingly at him, tears streaming down his temple. "I'm glad to have met you."

"Yeosang? Why are you crying? Hey, what's wrong?"

Wooyoung sat up and worries washed over him once again as Yeosang wiped the tears away. "It's nothing. Come here."

Yeosang dropped gentle kisses on his lips and it wasn't convincing enough for Wooyoung. Yeosang forced a kiss on Wooyoung but Wooyoung broke free and wept into his shoulder.

"Please. Please don't hide anything from me. Please don't leave me."

Yeosang hugged him closer and suppressed his emotions and fought back his tears. They stayed in each other's embrace, never losing touch of each other's warmth and love that radiated from their bodies. 

As Wooyoung laid his head on Yeosang's shoulder, a warm blue light illuminated the dark park. There was no one else around and when Wooyoung turned to the source, he was baffled to see it coming from Yeosang.

"Y-Yeosang... you're... glowing."

Yeosang turned to face Wooyoung and gazed down. The glow brightened and Yeosang could only smile in pain; not physically but emotionally.

"Ah. It's time." 

Tears were welling up in Wooyoung's eyes again and he was frantically grabbing onto Yeosang. "Time? Time for what? Yeosang? What are you not telling me?!"

With a broken heart, Yeosang kissed Wooyoung deeply and passionately one last time, feeling a warm crystal trickle down his porcelain skin. As he pulled away, his skin began to flurry away, with a distraught Wooyoung clinging desperately onto him.

"You're f-flurrying! Why are you flurrying?! Yeosang, why are you flurrying?!"

"My love, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But my time was never meant to be long. I'm spending my last few minutes with you and I cherished everything that we've done together. I have nothing but gratitude... and love for you."

Yeosang began to flurry even faster and Yeosang held onto his hands so tightly, it was hurting Wooyoung, but Wooyoung didn't care... he wanted Yeosang to stay.

"Yeosang, you said you'd stay. You said you won't leave me. Why'd you lie?"

"I'm sorry. I really am. Please forgive me, Wooyoung."

"Don't leave me. Please."

As Yeosang started to fade into oblivion, he smiled one last time at Wooyoung, expelling the words he had been meaning to say when they were together.

"I love you, Wooyoung."

"No, no! Please."

"I love you..."

With the last of him fading away, Wooyoung clung onto air, where Yeosang had been and began wailing loudly. Mingi, who was nearby, bawled his eyes out too when he watched his friend fade away. He couldn't bring himself to meet him in person seeing how broken Wooyoung looked earlier on.

"Yeosang... come back. Please, come back." Wooyoung's uncontrollable sob was heard by Seonghwa who happened to be watching from afar.

"I need you... I love you."

It had been five hours since Yeosang “moved on”, and Wooyoung was still not over it. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen from excessive crying and his body was exhausted from the energy that was drained during the crying. He couldn't think straight nor could he move. He just wanted Yeosang back. To be with him… in his embrace.

Fighting the struggle, Wooyoung forced himself to get up and head home. It was a 20 minutes drive, and he wasn't sure if he was capable of driving as he was extremely sleepy and exhausted. He made it work, however, as he arrived home safe and sound and headed straight for bed, but not before stumbling across the room that Yeosang slept in and glanced around. The room wasn't a complete mess but clothes were strewn everywhere and his bed wasn't made. Picking up a hoodie, Wooyoung sniffed and a wave of sadness overwhelmed him again. He sobbed into the hoodie and laid on the bed, wishing for nothing but for Yeosang to come back.

"It's the rule!"

"Rules can be bent!"

"He has done what is needed, so let him live!"

Seonghwa observed as the other Gods argued over Yeosang's supposed "passing" and watched as Wooyoung continued to cry for him, his body trembling vigorously from over-crying.

"Is this what it feels like to be loved? To feel happiness and to be broken? To be cherished and understood? I can never understand it, but I believe people deserve to be with someone who loves them unconditionally."

As the ray of sunlight hit his delicate skin, Wooyoung stirred in bed and groaned at the brightness. He slowly opened his eyes and tried hard to forget what had happened but it remained ingrained in his memory. Burying his face into the pillow, Wooyoung wept again, feeling distraught and lost over the loss of his love.

Slowly turning upright, Wooyoung closed his eyes and let the remaining tears drop onto the pillow and placed his hand at the side when he felt something warm. Feeling the object, Wooyoung realised it wasn't an object but a person. Bolting up into a seating position, Wooyoung stared down at the figure before him. 

Lying faced down, Wooyoung tried not to imagine it, but the blonde hair, porcelain skin... his face was covered by his long hair and when he pushed them aside, he held his breath in. Yeosang's eyes slowly began to open and when he saw Wooyoung staring at him, he quickly sat up.

"Wooyoung?"

Wooyoung was hesitant but he slowly reached over and placed a hand on Yeosang's face, who in turn, grabbed his hand and kissed each and every finger of his.

"It's you. It's really you!" Wooyoung cried tears of happiness as he leaped into Yeosang who fell back into his pillow, happily embracing him.

When Wooyoung released him, Yeosang sat up and glanced at his hands and body, and then at his chest. The gunshot wound was still there but he was in one piece. "I don't understand... I was supposed to be dead... why am I...?"

"Yeosang."

Yeosang's mind was interrupted by Wooyoung who looked confused as hell but also elated to see him again.

"I missed you," Wooyoung whispered, bumping foreheads with Yeosang. "I fucking missed you."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm so sorry." Yeosang cupped Wooyoung's tear-stricken face and wiped the tears with his thumb, nuzzling his nose with his nose and planting a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, Wooyoung."

"I love you too, idiot. Please don't hide anything from me anymore. Please."

Chuckling in between kisses, Yeosang whispered, "I won't. I'll tell you everything. I'm just not sure if you'll believe me."

"After what I saw yesterday, I'd believe anything."


End file.
